Sex in the Water

Discover everything about sex in the water

Quick disclaimer: This is simply my take on things. Your’s may be different and that’s ok—that’s the beauty of kink!

A BDSM slave is someone who has consensually agreed to being owned by someone else, often a “Master”.

As long as consent exists, the other person retains all-rights-of-ownership of the slave.

This transfer of ownership is called a “total power exchange” (TPE).

It means consensually handing over your ability to make decisions for yourself, and granting someone the right to do it for you.

Power exchanges are very popular in BDSM dynamics. But, not all power exchanges are total power exchanges.

Whenever someone gives themselves to a Dom/Master, they’re participating in a power exchange because they’re literally giving power to someone else.

Based on this, a BDSM slave is a very specific type of submissive.

However, most submission ceremonies do not involve the sub giving themselves completely to the Dom—they give a part of themselves.

Submission is a sliding scale, with one end being a “regular” submissive, and the other being a slave without a single right. Most subs/slaves fall somewhere in the middle.

So, not all submissives are slaves, but all slaves are —normally—considered submissives. (There are exceptions, but they’re few-and-far-between).

For example, a sub may give up:

The ability to choose what they wear
Being able to leave the house, without saying why
Freedom for general structure, like rules and chores
While subs do trade some things in submission, they retain many of their rights as autonomous human beings.

A slave on the other hand may give up:

Social media privacy
The ability to say “no”
A choice in what they eat, where they eat it, and when they eat it
The list could go on-and-on, but it all falls under one category: Eliminating choice from a slave’s life.

In theory, removing all rights from another individual is easy. In practice, though, it’s a whole different ballgame.

A TPE can encompass removing all rights. However, most times slaves retain some rights.

That’s because a slave is still a human in our modern world, and must function in it confidently. Financials are one of the biggest caveats here.

Some people will never give up control of their *** because it drastically blurs the lines. Of course, there are slaves who do give up their financial rights, but many do not.

No matter what, it all comes down to the specific dynamic and how both parties want it to run.

Exceptions exist everywhere, and kink is no different. That’s why a definition is meant to be a starting point, not a strict boundary.

Every Master/slave dynamic looks different. Some slaves may only be submissive within a sexual context, while others are submissive in every aspect of the dynamic.

It’s important to understand that “slave” simply refers to the type of relationship: Master/slave. It does not necessarily insinuate a sexual-type-dynamic—although that is often the case.

Before anything else, there are extensive, thorough discussions about expectations, wants, and needs.

Expectations are straightforward. But there’s a massive difference between wants and needs.

Needs will always be taken care of by the Master—no exceptions. They’ve committed to making healthy decisions, and must do the basic requirements.

Wants, on the other hand, are just extras. A master may allow a slave’s wants to come to fruition….or they may not. That’s because it’s not a basic requirement for human function: It’s a bonus.

After all sides have expressed themselves and time has passed, a contract is crafted.

A BDSM contract is a signed document, outlining the expectations, rules, and terms-of-play. And, they’re revisited on an agreed-upon-basis, like every 3-to-6-months.

While a BDSM contract isn’t a legally binding document, it does act as a formal agreement between Master and slave.

So, if/when someone wishes to terminate the contract (Master OR slave), it can be done so immediately, without legal ramifications.

TLDR;

Ultimately, a BDSM slave is a more extreme submissive, with far fewer rights and choices, than a typical sub.

If you’re down for some freaky sex and chilll vibes hit me up. I’m looking for someone who can really show me the ropes, I haven’t been able to explore the best.